My 3 personal secrets to have a happier life

I am known for being a positive person, I keep it real but I always try to look for the bright side of any situation.

My most common self-talk is “what I am learning from this situation? and here is my favorite quote:

  “I focus on the donut and not in the whole”

Here, I wanted to share my 3 most important tips about how I am making my life happier:

1. Be nice to Yourself:  Be your biggest cheerleader, because to achieve anything in life, you have to believe on you.  Doesn't matter what people may say because what its important is what you think about yourself.  I used to struggle with self-esteem issues always trying to be someone I wasn't, trying to do things because other people did it or trying to look like someone else.  All it did was make me doubt myself.  However, that changed and since then I have accomplished the most amazing things I never thought I would do (Example: moving by myself to a country where I didn't even spoke their language)
2. Take Risks:  "You never can tell if you are going to enjoy something until you go out there and try it.  You may hate it, but at least you will know and you will be able to put your energy into other activities”
3. Embrace your passions:  Pursue something that excites you, that you don't feel it takes extra effort from you.  Whether it's your career, a hobby, coaching, or tutoring, find out what it is and do it!.  I love empowering people, so I get a thrill out of preparing myself to inspire or help people in the right time (Right now I am reading a lot of personal development books, listen different pot-casts, participate in book-clubs,  write a diary of my daily new learnings, etc) I also love traveling and since I quit my last job, I have been not loosing any opportunity I got to travel (wait for my video-blog in you tube regarding traveling)

I hope you will find this helpful to you and if you have any advises please make sure to write me a comment.  

Besitos

To Make Your Vacation a Stress Reliever Instead of Stress Producer

Me @ Eiffel Tower, Paris 

This post was inspire by those friends who are afraid taking vacation time, or for those who feel that their team or department will not be able to handle the workflow without them and therefore, they prefer to avoid taking vacations.

 I was there and it did not help me at all to think and manage my life that way so I now want to write this post for my friends that are going through that stage and also for myself too so in case I fail into it again.

This post is perfect for you if you have asked to yourself the following questions:

• Will my absence give my boss the idea that I am replaceable?
• Will I be out of the look when a crucial decision is made?
• Will I need to put extra hours preparing for my absence and then even more hours playing catch-up when I return? 

If your answers are yes in most of the above questions, here  I collected some useful information to make sure your next vacation is a stress reliever instead of a stress producer.  The following tips are divided in two main groups, one is the "Strategies" and the other group is the "Barriers to Overcome"

Strategies:

1. Reevaluate Downtime: There is a misconception about downtime (I am not going to get into what those are) but what is important is to understand that vacation time and the mind-body reset that goes along with it is critical to good job performance.  An Ernst & Young study found that the company's highest performers regularly took all their vacation time. 
2. Decide what's really crucial: Before you leave, meet with you boss, colleagues and subordinates to determine what you really need to handle before, during and after your absence and what you can delegate or push aside. 
3. Set boundaries: Make a point of leaving your work behind while on vacation. If you must keep in touch with the office each day or week, establish a specific time for checking emails and making calls.  Then put the phone and laptop away. 
4. Build in transition time: Schedule a free day at home to pack and unpack, and to easy the stress of take-off and reentry. 
5. Develop a kick-back habit:  Practice taking time for conscious rest and renewal during the workweek. This can make it easier to transition into vacation mode next time around.

Barriers to Overcome:

1. Fear of falling behind:  Everything in our culture is pulling us toward doing more and doing it faster. It is easy for us to feel that, if we fall behind, we will simply never catch up
2. Pride in overwork:  Sometimes we wear our exhaustion like a badge of honor
3. Confidence in connection: Being constantly hooked into the action help us feel important, even indispensable. Taking time off can leave us feeling insecure about our roles, contributions and value within the organization
4. Adrenaline addition:  The rush we get from stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol can be really habit forming.  There was an article that I read that says how studies show that the charge our brains get from opening an important email resembles a hit of cocaine”If we are going to be expected to unplug, even a little, the prospect of vacation may become te   rrifying. 
5. More work worries:  For many of us, taking time off involves intensive effort.  We know we will have finish to complete piles of work before we leave and then rush to catch up once we return.  The result: departure dread.

Lesson from my Voyage: "Put yourself First"

Like many women, I used to overcommit myself.  Whether it was at work, school or with friends, I'd agree to help out.  Then when the day came, I'd drive myself crazy trying to get everything done.  But making myself a priority is crucial for my health and sanity.  Now, I ask for a night to think over the request, which helps me sort out what's really important and plan my agenda.  And if I decide to turn it down, rather than come up with an excuse, I simply reply, "Now isn't good for me, but thanks for the invitation." After all, time is your most valuable asset-and I've learned to treasure every minute

"You can't Move Forward Successfully if Your Head is Turned Looking Backwards"

The choices we make every day give us the ability to focus our mental energy on whatever we choose. We can either dwell on the past or move beyond it and focus on our present. Any time you dwell on your past failures you only create more fear about your opportunities in the future.

The past is a locked door. No matter how hard you may try, you cannot go back and change it. Your point of power is in the present-it is what you do with your present time and energy. Your future is created by the thoughts and energy you use today. It is always up to you to give yourself permission to stop talking about and thinking about what happened in the past. Focus your mental, physical and emotional life energy on what you are going to create now.

What your future will look like is totally depend on what information and self-direction you give yourself with your self-talk. It is a practiced skill to learn to be able to choose what thoughts come into your mind, rather that be ruled by the thoughts the flow at random. You must recognize that you have the power of control to master your inner dialogue. To make your mind obey you rather that control you.

~From Book Sucess is an Inside Job

Life Changes can be Challenged but…

"I believe in myself so I am willing to take these risks. And the more attempts I make toward making my dreams come true, the more chances I have of achieving success. When I have the ca-do attitude, it gives to my brain the power, skill, and energy needed to accomplish whatever. It trigger my mind to figure out the details of how to succeed. And without the driving force of belief in myself, I wont have the courage, interest, or enthusiasm to keep going now."

Be Content

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.

~Lao Tzu

Tips to Remember Names

The ability to remember people’s names is an extremely positive skill, in business and social interactions. Do you remember how impressed or surprised you were the last time someone remembered your name? I still get impressed, and I tend to remember these people in an especially warm and friendly light.

I have a simple and distinct, short and easy to remember name , which I need to thanks to my family. I often fall victim to the embarrassment of not remembering names of people who approach me. My mind would go into panic, thinking “Oh crap! What’s her/his name again?”

I found the following tips and I am in the process to develop the following techniques to help myself remember names. I want to share these with you, and hope that you will find them as valuable:

1. Trust Yourself

Tell yourself, “I am fantastic at remembering names! And I’m gonna practicing start now.”

2. Seeing Faces

If you know another person with the same name, try the following:

See that person’s face in your imagination.

Now, see the person’s face bounce up-and-down (perhaps smiling at you).

Now, see the new person’s face, bouncing up-and-down beside the first face.

Repeat steps A to C several times

3. Using Sound Tricks

If you do not know another person with this same, try the following mnemonics using sound:

Repeat their names several times in your head, while noting the following:

Exaggerate the sounds. Prolong the syllables. Ie. “Ro-sse!” The funnier, the funkier and disturbing, the better for remembering.

‘Chunking‘ - Break the name into several distinguishable parts/words.

Associate parts of name with words you’re already familiar with and can easily pronounce. Ie. “Ramesh” = Mesh, Mash

Create a story - Especially great for foreign, long or unusual names. I sometimes find it helpful to create a little story containing familiar words from step b to serve as memorable cues. Make the story highly visual, especially great if the story sounds silly and makes you laugh.
Example, “Bengodi” -> “Ben Afflect is going to become a deejay.”

4. Hear the Sounds Repeated

Look into their eyes while being introduced and repeat their name several times out aloud.
I like asking the following questions after being introduced. The reason I ask is to give me additional time and opportunity to practice their names on the spot:

“Did I pronounce it correctly?”

“How do you pronounce that?”

“Could you repeat it?”

I would repeat it several times after they answer the question, and check with them that I’ve got the correct pronunciation. Again, this technique gives me an excuse to practice their names, also ensures that I’m pronouncing it right. People typically do not mind to help you learn their names.

5. See the Spelling Visually

Practice seeing each letter clearly in your mind. Sound out each letter as you see them. Repeat the process of seeing and hearing each letter in sequence.
Example. “Tyler” - “Tee, Y, L, E, R, Tyler!”

Two tips for this technique:

Clarify Spelling - Ask “How do you spell that?” This gives extra time and chance to practice the technique. Make sure to repeat the letters back to the person (and see the letters as you say it). Don’t worry about sounding or looking silly. If you are genuine about learning someone’s name, they will actually appreciate it.

“Dancing Letters” - As you pass through each letter, see it move a little. It could be shaking, bouncing, wobbling in its place. This will help your mind to remain the memory.

6. Writing it Down

Always useful to have some scrap paper and pen with you. Better yet, use your notebook if you carry one. When the person is not looking or when you are in the bathroom, quickly jot down the names or sounds of names.

(Optionally) write a one-liner description beside the name

At conferences, I will have a page in my notebook dedicated to names. After meeting someone new, I would write it down in this page along with a quick distinct reminder about that person.

Examples:

i. “John, the real estate guy from Portland.”
ii. “Zoe, the myspace programmer.”

I like dumping names on paper or in a record (Item 6 below). Using this technique, I don’t need to carry it around in my mind and be constantly reminding myself of it.

7. Keeping Records

Keep a file on your computer, or even better yet, use google docs (virtual WORD documents). Call it “The Name Record” or TNR.

I use this to record names of people who I may come in contact with again. I use this to record names of people from my building (as I meet them), and for anyone I meet at any gathering I attend. When writing down a name, it is important to associate the name with a memorable fact or story.

Example entries:

“Unit 406 - Manik, Indian guy, very nice, 30 years old, works at Boeing.”

“Derek - friend of Josh. music director, they went to same college, big eyes, sarcastic.”

Try using these techniques one at a time. Practice, and when you feel comfortable, try another. Believe in yourself; the more you want to remember a name, the easier it will come.